Food Network Rant

Because it's summer and I have nothing better to do that criticize daytime programming, I ask my inevitable question. When the heck will they replace Sandra Lee?

I'm so tired of having to flip channels when "Semi-Homemade with Sanda Lee" comes on. For God's sake a "tablescape" is TACKY. Dressing everything up with the same rick-rack trim/50 cent discount patterned Jo-Ann poly-blend fabric is TACKY. Calling every uninspired ingredient "something a little special" only highlights how UNspecial it is. Gross, bland, whitebread recipes are USELESS. TOO MUCH CAPITALIZATION IN A RANT ABOUT SANDRA LEE IS NOT EFFECTIVE ENOUGH.

All I'm saying is that they need to change out this holly-hobby show with something with more umph.

Exhibit A: HORRIBLE KWANZAA CAKE, really blonde lady? Really? No one running the network read this part of the program and thought... maybe we should leave this one out? Also decorating a cake with acorns... is stupid. They're toxic to humans, and you could easily have used walnuts. But that's really just nitpicking when it comes to the whole thing:

Horrific.

then theres

EXHIBIT B: Meatloaf Monstrosity (Someone please get this woman a meatloaf pan!)

EXHIBIT C: "Italian Topiary Tablescape". Monstrous! Monstrous! The good stuff starts at 1:02.

And just for fun,
EXHIBIT D: Bad Cocktail. Lemon juice+heavy cream+vodka...

There you have it. The Heidi Montag of the cooking world.