Monday, December 29, 2008

Something in the Air...

...not only smells like shit, but looks like its analog too.

After praising one advertising campaign, lets take a break to laugh at a couple. Look, I know it's hard to communicate exactly what a fragrance smells like. It's like describing color with words, it's tough. But it's shouldn't be hard to communicate "Buy this, it smells good!" and soooo many fail to do something as simple as that.



I was just flipping through InStyle and Vogue and I was appalled at the poo-smear that celebrities are letting their campaign managers smudge all over billboards and print. With a few exceptions (Ms. Erykah Badu representing Tom Ford's White Patchouli, and perhaps Gwen Stefani for LAMB) lets look at how badly they botch these:


Paris Hilton's Fairy Dust
Note the Disney font, delightful coke-whoreness of her visibly jutting ribcage. Is that a fairy outfit or the leftover ribbon and bits of a Christmas present?

Sean John - Unforgivable
Talk about a terrible name for a fragrance. It suggests that you may need to apologize for wearing his scent. And the ad itself... "Hey guys I have an idea! Lets photograph Diddy after murdering a particularly unsatisfactory Asian lay." Sick stuff. (Also note how its still seems risque to suggest interracial "passion" between a black man and a white woman- both women appear quite safely ethnic)

Mariah Carey - M
Comparatively, this one isn't as bad as some others, but on its own... her face is warped, its so poorly photoshopped (check out the weird blue rays near her hands) and about as awkward as it gets. Not sexy, not enticing, just freakish.

Christina Aguilera - Inspire
Her last fragrance ad was actually beautifully done. I wonder who decided to hire the the designer this time around... awful skin color, weird left hand... just odd and gaudy overall.


Please! I don't know who's buying these products but please make these celebrities stop their god-awful campaigns from saturating our already overly-commercial society with more of this defecatory visual nonsense.